Batman's Enemies vs Each Other
by Windrises
Summary: Nine of Batman's enemies enter a contest that's hosted by Hugo Strange, because Hugo promises to tell the winner Batman's real name.


Note: Batman is not owned and created by me.

Bruce Wayne was relaxing at home. Suddenly his phone rang. Bruce asked "Who's there?"

Hugo Strange said "Greetings Batman. I'm Hugo Strange."

Bruce felt scared. Hugo Strange found out his secret identity. Bruce figured that pretending he wasn't Batman wouldn't work, but he was desperate. Bruce said "I'm Bruce Wayne, not Batman."

Hugo Strange replied "You're in plenty of trouble Batman."

Bruce asked "How did you find my secret out?"

Hugo Strange said "I've wanted to know who you are for a long time. I did months of research on Batman's chin, brains, and everything else. You were the only possibility than truly made sense."

Bruce sighed and replied "I think I'm rich enough to bribe you out of telling anybody my secret."

Hugo Strange said "That's a tempting offer, but I have something much more exciting to do with your secret."

Bruce asked "Where are you?"

Hugo Strange said "I'm not dumb enough to tell you that."

Hugo Strange had the newspapers that were given to the criminals in Arkham Asylum replaced with a paper stating that he knew Batman's secret identity and if the criminals want to find out they have to go to his lair for a contest. Several villains broke out of Arkham Asylum that night.

The next day there were several visitors in Hugo's lair. Hugo looked around his lair and was happy that so many villains came. Joker, Penguin, Riddler, Two-Face, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, Mr. Freeze, Harley Quinn, and Bane wanted to find out Batman's secret identity. Hugo said "I appreciate that you came. I'm Hugo Strange, the first person to find out who Batman really is. One of you will be the second to find out."

The Joker asked "Which of us weirdos is going to find out?"

Hugo Strange said "You nine criminals will battle each other. The one that wins the fight will also win the knowledge of Batman's real name."

The Penguin replied "I'm far wealthier than these goofballs. I'll pay you for the answer to Batman's name."

Hugo Strange said "I'm sorry, but only Batman's most dangerous enemy will get to know who he is."

The Joker replied "But I'm Batman's main enemy so I'm clearly the one who deserves to know."

Hugo Strange said "I hope you're ready to battle."

The villains spent a few minutes planning on how to defeat their fellow rivals. A few minutes later the fight started. The Riddler gave the other criminals riddles. The Riddler said "You'll have to solve riddles to stop me. I'm so smart that none of you can stop me." The villains facepalmed.

Poison Ivy asked "Do we have to waste time on the riddles?"

Two-Face replied "We don't need to find out the Riddler's silly riddles. He may be smart, but he would lose in a real fight."

The Riddler asked "Are you going to prove me wrong?"

Two-Face said "You're going to lose Riddler."

The Riddler asked "What's crazy, but also normal?"

Two-Face said "I don't care about the answer riddle boy." Two-Face started punching the Riddler. The Riddler tried to fight back, but he wasn't very strong so he lost.

Hugo Strange said "Riddler came in 9th place. It appears riddles don't win battles."

Two-Face tried to kick Poison Ivy, but she used her plant powers to knock him away.

Mr. Freeze stated "I'll freeze Two-Face."

Two-Face replied "I'll run away before you get to freeze me."

Mr. Freeze said "You have to flip a coin to make that choice."

Two-Face sighed and replied "Okay. If I get heads I get to run away, but if I get tails I have to stand around while you freeze me." Two-Face flipped the coin. It landed on tails. Mr. Freeze froze Two-Face. Because of that Two-Face came in 8th place.

The Joker said "Two-Face will probably ask for a heater this Christmas." The Joker did a evil laugh.

Mr. Freeze proudly said "My freeze gun can help me defeat you cold blooded fools. I don't think there's any way that I can lose."

Harley Quinn replied "There's one obvious thing that can defeat you."

Mr. Freeze asked "What could stop my chances of winning?"

Harley Quinn said "You couldn't win without your freeze gun." Harley stole Mr. Freeze's freeze gun.

Mr. Freeze replied "I don't have any fighting skills or super powers." Harley started punching and kicking Mr. Freeze. Mr. Freeze fought back a little, but he was so used to using his ice gun to help him that he didn't last long without it. Mr. Freeze came in 7th place.

Harley Quinn said "I'm tougher than I thought and Mr. Freeze is ironically not very cool."

The Penguin replied "You shouldn't be so confident. You shouldn't even count as a villain. You're a sidekick."

Harley Quinn tried to knock out the Penguin, but he used his umbrella to battle her. Harley Quinn asked "Do you think your rain drop fighter can stop me?"

The Penguin said "People don't give me and my umbrella enough credit. Both of us are quite smart and sneaky." The Penguin used various items that were hidden in his umbrella to win his fight with Harley Quinn. Harley Quinn came in 6th place.

The Penguin proudly said "I knew that my intelligence and umbrella would help me win this fight."

The Joker replied "The fight isn't over, but you're already bragging."

Bane said "I'm obviously going to win the fight so I'll crush both Joker and Penguin now."

The Joker asked "How could we defeat that strong dude?"

The Penguin said "If you break the tube that controls Bane's venom he would lose the fight."

The Joker replied "I hate to admit it, but you gave me helpful advice you wacky bird."

Bane said "I'll smash you before you even start trying to fight me."

The Penguin replied "Okay Bane. Let me finish writing my will before you crush me."

Bane said "You better write that will fast Penguin." The Penguin wrote a fake will to distract Bane while the Joker destroyed Bane's venom tube. Bane lost his strength. He felt too weak to fight anybody. He came in 5th place.

The Joker tried to prank Poison Ivy, but she used her plant powers to push him away. The Scarecrow tried to throw fear gas at the Joker, but the Joker ran far enough to not get fear gas on his body.

The Joker said "I should appreciate your help Penguin, but I think that beating you up will be a much better reward." The Joker did a evil laugh.

The Penguin replied "You have no real fighting skills. You're simply a crazy weirdo."

The Joker asked "Do you know any normal weirdos?"

The Penguin said "I'm a smart and rich businessman. You just do random stuff and laugh."

The Joker replied "I'm Batman's arch enemy yet you treat like me a fun loving goofball. It's time for you to pay you poorly named fool."

The Penguin said "I assumed you would try to betray me which is why I put knock out gas on you after I wrote my fake will."

The Joker replied "I love pulling pranks on others, but I hate being pranked." The Joker laughed before passing out. The Joker came in 4th place.

Hugo Strange said "I thought the Joker would of gotten a better place in the contest."

The Penguin replied "The Joker's not as intimidating as people think he is. I'm clearly going to win."

The Scarecrow said "I can defeat you Penguin."

The Penguin replied "The only thing you can defeat is a crow."

The Scarecrow said "You don't seem to understand how cool my fear gas is."

The Penguin replied "Your fear gas is a silly attempt at victory that won't work."

The Scarecrow said "You're going to lose so hard that you'll be too scared to enter any more villain contests." The Scarecrow sprayed fear gas the Penguin.

The Penguin suddenly became scared of the Scarecrow and the other villains. The Penguin ran outside. The Penguin came in 3rd place. While outside Batman grabbed the Penguin and put handcuffs on him. The Penguin said "Thank you for saving me from those creeps Batman, but why are you out here?"

Batman replied "I have a special plan to take care of the villains."

Meanwhile Hugo Strange said "Most of Batman's enemies are easier to stop than I thought. I hope that you don't disappoint me."

The Scarecrow replied "I'm the scariest person in Gotham. There aren't any villains that can stop me."

Poison Ivy said "You're wrong about that Scarecrow. Watching my fellow villains defeat each other was fun, but now it's time to prove that nobody can stop me."

The Scarecrow replied "My fear gas will stop you." The Scarecrow tried to spray fear gas at Poison Ivy, but she used her plant powers to trap him. The Scarecrow tried to escape the dangerous plants, but he ended up losing. The Scarecrow came in 2nd place.

Poison Ivy said "I won the contest."

Batman entered and replied "I disagree with that."

Hugo Strange asked "How did you find my lair?"

Batman said "I'm a good detective. I've been here for a few hours, but I waited for the villains to beat each other up so I wouldn't have to beat up nine villains."

Poison Ivy replied "Well you'll have to defeat your toughest enemy which you can't do Batman."

Batman said "I can defeat you."

Poison Ivy used her plant powers to attack Batman. She said "I could of defeated the other eight fools easily, but watching them get easily defeated was a show I couldn't miss."

Batman replied "It's a show I also couldn't miss. You and I are more similar than you think."

Poison Ivy said "You're quite the charmer Batman. I would be willing to stop being your enemy if you got some plant DNA, retired from crime fighting, and teamed up with me to replace the citizens of Gotham with plant creatures."

Batman replied "Nothing about your plan is tempting." Batman threw batarangs at the plants he was trapped in. The batarangs had antidotes on them which destroyed Poison Ivy's plants.

Poison Ivy said "I'll create more plants to stop you."

Batman replied "I know how to stop you from doing that." Batman put knock out gas in his glove and punched Poison Ivy. The knock out gas in Batman's glove made Poison Ivy pass out.

Hugo Strange said "You impressed me Batman, but how will you stop me from revealing your secret identity to various people?"

Batman replied "Telling me that you found out my secret identity was a really dumb thing to do. I spent last night working on a mind erasing gas so you'll forget who I am."

Hugo Strange said "Now that I know your plan I'll run away before you get a chance to put the mind erasing gas on me."

Batman replied "While I was trapped by Poison Ivy's plants I was able to stick my arms out of the plants enough to quickly spray the mind erasing gas on you."

Hugo Strange tried to remember Batman's real name, but he didn't manage to remember. Hugo said "I was smart enough to find your secret identity so I'm sure I'll rediscover your secret."

Batman replied "I'm going to put you in Arkham Asylum so you'll be separated from your computers and any other research tool you have." Hugo Strange frowned.


End file.
